Whats Your Teens Future? That Depends! Does He Have Character?
Written by E D, Posted on , in Section Hero
Are you putting too much emphasis on the wrong things? A lot of parents get hung up about just one or two aspects of their child's development, not realizing that young boys and girls are just as multi-dimensional as adults. We all have our aptitudes and the things we're not so great at. Sometimes, we shamefully think, it seems that our sons may have a lot of one and not enough of the other. School is absolutely a crucial component in a young person's journey to success in adulthood, but it's far from the only important concern.
It's beginning to look as though researchers have been ignoring critical evidence mounting from a variety of specialties. Economists, psychologists, educators and even neuroscientists are beginning to put together a case that maybe IQ and scholastic achievement aren't the primary building blocks for a successful future. There are a number of traits that get ignored in more popular, easier to assess studies such as IQ tests. Traits such as perseverance, self-discipline and curiosity, in addition to other qualities, may form the basis of a new reimagining of what parents need to focus on when raising their children.
It may seem like common sense that a teen needs character to find success in the world as an adult. But maybe that's because so many parents don't see the forest for the trees. They're so focused on grades in high school and the minutiae of day to day life, that they don't think about the big picture of who their child really is. Perhaps many adults fail to even think of kids as having a distinct character of their own. Maybe this is because so many parents project what they want to see or what they wish they see upon their teen children. Parents are always sizing up their children's successes and failures.
Can Self-Discipline Hold the Answer to Personal Achievement?
Did you know that a score on a self-discipline test is a much more accurate indicator of future success than IQ or scholastic performance? And what is one of the main traits that you would say that your teen and other teens may lack? If you're talking about the teenagers I know, I'd have to say it's self-discipline. The ability to focus on a task, really home in, deny instant gratification and pursue one's goals is a truly difficult thing to learn how to do.
Self-discipline is a huge component of character
And what about conscience? Would you say that's something that the world can be in sadly short supply of these days? It seems like any old person is willing to ram right over another person in pursuit of success. Everybody has grown so ambitious, they use other people like ladders to climb and vines to swing on to get wherever it is they're going in such an awfully important hurry. But would you be surprised to know that teens who show the trait of conscientiousness are likely to earn more as adults? Perhaps this is because cooperation, and looking out for the good of the group, have been shown to be defining traits that got us to where we are as human beings.
Helping others, looking out for what's right -- conscientiousness -- is a huge piece of the character puzzle
People who have these characteristics are much less likely to get involved with drugs or get into criminal trouble. They're better in friendships. Their marriages last longer. They are happier. They are more likely to have satisfying, fulfilling, enriching and financially rewarding careers.
These characteristics are tough to teach, except by example. By being a morally upright person, you are giving your teen a leg up on success. That is when many crucial impressions are made.
There's a great deal of evidence to suggest that stress and trauma that a young person experiences may significantly impact their ability to develop good character. This can be corrected with love and nurturing support from parents.
In order to really help our kids develop character, we need to give them the opportunity to take risks. Of course, as parents, it can be difficult to see our children fail. But these failures are perhaps the best teacher of what it takes to develop self-discipline, conscientiousness, curiosity, optimism and the other traits that define character.
If your teen has a character deficiency, you might ask yourself how you can change up his environment to introduce an element of healthy risk. If you find your kid floundering, failing to live up to even modest expectations, it may be time to consider outside help.
