I am a nerd. I have been a nerd as long as I can possibly remember, from playing Pokémon at age nine, to being moderately interested in Magic the Gathering at 21.
I have played and beaten most of the best video games ever produced, been ranked in the top 250 Halo Reach players (if you know what that means, you too are a nerd), and attended Comic-Con every year. In my personal life, I have a level of confidence that informs everything I do, except with women.
When it comes to women that for one reason or other I’m not attracted to, that same level of high confidence exists. But if I do find a woman attractive, my level of anxiety cannot be measured by any common standard. I get so nervous I shake, get weak in the knees, my heart rate increases, and blackouts are not uncommon.
What’s A Nerd To Do?
I find approaching women more terrifying than staring down the barrel of a gun (which I’ve experienced first hand). What can I do to not end up a lonely old man still dressing up for Comic-Con? My friends have joked that I should look into mail order brides. How would you judge me, if I told you that I did consider it?
Websites like whatsyourprice.com, seekarrangement.com and carrotdating.com offer a way for lonely or socially awkward men (and women) like me to use our success to skip all the BS and cut right to the chase.
You'd probably have to make up some sort of cover story about how you came to meet Svetlana, the Ukrainian beauty on your arm at your insurance company Christmas party, but as long as you can keep your facts straight, you should be able to pull it off.
Can Money Buy Love?
These sites specialize in an-all-cards on the table kind of approach. I know exactly what to expect from my date and she knows exactly what to expect from me. That's what the guys who buy into this situation are looking for. The question of whether or not you can buy love is moot because both parties know that what you're really paying for is a companion.
If there is a breach in that understanding then the contract is null and void. Whether or not an arrangement like this can eliminate the common movie scenario of communication failure in a relationship is anyone's guess, but in this world, dating becomes more about negotiating and less about compromise.
Love is messy. The potential outcomes are 99% oriented toward failure, and some of that 99% failure rate may include a long and unhappy marriage. Breaking off a relationship is hard. You have to be brave to cut it off with someone. Being an emotional wreck makes it difficult for me to handle a relationship built upon vague compromises.
By basing a relationship on something more concrete than some ephemeral notion of love, I think I am protecting myself and possibly my relationship against some of the most common potential relationship issues. I want to find someone that allows me to take care of them, while still building a lasting relationship that eventually is based on more than just money. This, for me, might just be the push I need to help get through an emotional barrier I don’t believe I could otherwise overcome.