10. You Don’t Have to Look Perfect For Each Other All of The Time
Dressing up for the other is nice and keeps the romance alive. However, you should be free to look your worst as well. No one can look made up 100% of the time; in trying, it will only create stress and false expectations. When we first met, we both were in grubby clothes and had just finished a long day at work for him, traveling for me. I definitely did not look my best, but it didn’t matter for either of us. That is true comfort.
9. You Really Miss The Other When You’re Apart
I’m not talking about perishing when they’re not around, or lying limp with a box of tissues by your side, but if you’re glad to see them gone, it’s not going to be a good thing in the long run. Alone time is always healthy, but being together is too. In my relationship, we always look forward to seeing each other at the end of the day, and keep in close touch if one of us is ever out of town. Spending time together is our favorite thing to do, and it’s good to miss each other when we don’t.
8. You Have Similar Life Goals
It’s important to be working towards the same thing if you’re wanting to spend a lifetime together. If one of you dreams of a big city life and the other wants a tent in the woods as soon as possible, the conflict over one of you having to forfeit your dreams is going to cause resentment. Make sure the same things are important to the both of you.
7. You’re Always Thinking About How Your Decisions Will Affect The Other
With graduate school and jobs, not a single decision I’ve made since we fell in love has been done without him in mind. Jobs and schooling and many other events can affect the entire future of the relationship in regards to finances and geopraphics. You must remember that every huge choice will now concern the both of you.
6. You Actually Like Each Other’s Families
You’ve heard the saying “I’m not marrying his/her family,” but if they are at all in your lives, you’ve got to be okay with them. Few things can make a person more defensive than when someone is being critical of their family. In my case, I have many siblings I am very, very close to, and my fiancé’s acceptance of them was imperative. When he survived the crazy family Christmas party and laughed as hard as the rest of us, I knew he would be just fine.
5. Other People Notice How Great You Are Together
It both surprised and delighted me the first time I heard this, just days into our relationship. People still express their delight in our relationship all of the time, with one friend even commenting, “His spirit is so perfect for yours.” While you do not need everyone’s validation, the fact that others notice your love and affection is telling of how wonderful you are together.
4. You’ve Survived Those Huge Arguments
“We never fight,” seems to be the words that most people want to hear from couples to ascertain that it’s a great relationship. Ha. While the first few months for us were “fight-free” we’ve had some doozies since—and that’s a good thing. A healthy argument can clear the air and remind you both of issues and even quirks that can be made better for a stronger, happier relationship. It is important to remember, however, that you must never fight dirty. Anger is one thing, but being vicious can damage your relationship in many ways that may blow up later. Words can never be taken back.
3. You Don’t Have Any Secrets
This is absolutely huge in our relationship, and should be in anyone’s. What you had for breakfast is not as imperative as, say, that fellow student who slyly asked you for your number, or the ex-girlfriend who won’t stop calling. Secrets become lies, which become the death knell to many relationships. You must maintain that honestly from the very beginning and have a mutual understanding that secrets are not allowed. It doesn’t have to be a confessional every night, but it’s best to start out right away knowing everything about one another—your past, you present, and hopes for your future. It lends an even deeper intimacy to the relationship that will always keep you closer.
2. You’re An Excellent Team
You work together to reach your goals, to maintain the relationship, to take care of kids and a million other things that come in life. You need to turn to each other first, to know that one of you always has the other’s back. And in addition to that—remember it is your team. The two of you. No one else has a place on it, and no one else is more important.
1. You're Each Other’s Best Friend
You’re both going to have your own friends that you bring into the relationship, and there’s nothing wrong with having others to confide in. But be each other’s #1. Who do you turn to first when you’re upset or have a problem? Who is the first one to know when you’ve accomplished something great or gotten a promotion at work? It needs to be your significant other. You need to be able to talk freely, to share dreams and worries, to be able to burst out laughing when the other calls you, “Chatty McChatterson.” Never forget to have fun together, to be able to laugh and cry together. This is what the most beautiful and most intimate relationships are built out of.