Learn To Be Pro-active for Your Own Protection
Written by Ms. Roberta Park MS Psychology, Posted on
Learn to be pro-active in your own protection-
Parties and Drinking
We live in a very fast-paced, exciting, and at times a dangerous world. We are often naive in our own self-protection. There comes a time in each person’s life where they have to make decisions that will keep them safe all the way around. This needs to start in early teens. So, let’s look at some of them.
The first is being pro-active towards your own protection. To begin with don’t be stupid! I say that bluntly, but it is true. Don’t believe everything that you are told. If something doesn’t feel right, than back off and take a hard look. If you find yourself in a situation that you are feeling un-comfortable about, than do something!
Let us take a few incidences that I can think of. For instance, you are invited to a party that you think will be fine, but when you get there you can see that there is drinking. Who is taking you home? Who is driving? Can you get another way home...or call your parents if you are uncomfortable with the setting you have ended up with?
These are important things to think through. I have seen teens that have ended up at parties and found out that they got wilder and wilder. They didn’t want their parents to know, so they started to shut down their own protections. It isn’t worth it! Call your parents, take the heat, and learn a lesson. The statistics on date rape during drinking is almost 98%. Those are staggering numbers. That means the girls who were raped were all drunk. College campuses are rampant with date rape.
Another is open drinks being handed out at some parties. They may tell you that they are 7-up or a non-alcoholic drink, but in reality they have been spiked with a knock –out drug where a girl awakens someplace with very little knowledge of what has just happened in the last few hours. Than later they find out that not only were they raped but they were videoed. This hasn’t happened just a few times, but far too many times! Most are not reported.
Always have an un-opened bottle of pop or bring your own. The bottom line is don’t be where there is drinking until your 21 and you have the ability to handle yourself. I know this sounds harsh, but I can’t tell you the heart breaking stories that I have heard in counseling and it all started with alcohol and being at the wrong place, at the wrong time, and sometimes doing the wrong thing. Be pro-active in your safety!
The statistics on drunken teen age driving is almost as staggering. Drinking and young people are a recipe for disaster. Protect yourself. Many years ago, I had an older friend tell me that she always drove herself to any party. She never went with a group. That way if she didn’t like the feeling there, she just drove herself home! Smart!
Saying too much!
The second is telling too much about youself to too many people. Now, I know that the readers of this site would never be this dumb, but it is amazing how often it happens. A while back, in California, I had gone into a convenience store to quickly buy a pop. There were some very young girls (about 14) who were talking to older guys (about 20 or 21) about how they had ditched school and their parents didn’t know about it. How funny!! The guys that they were talking to asked them if they would hang out with them for the day, and they seemed eager to do it. Dumb!!
They didn’t know these guys at all. Who were they? What were their motives? What danger were they putting their selves into? Even the clerk was looking at the girls and you could tell by the expression on his face that he wanted to say: “hey, dummies. This is not a good plan.” The girls were oblivious. The guys were cute, and they wanted to do something exciting.
I left, but they stayed in my mind. In many big cities, there are unfortunately many unexplained crimes against very young girls and far more rapes that were never reported, because the girls didn’t want to explain that they had put themselves in harm’s way. We also need to be careful on the internet! Sadly, not everyone is nice. Predators are experts on finding weaknesses.
Don’t accept bad behavior!
The third is by not holding others accountable if they behave badly to you! Bad behavior can be just being rude to being way too physical in anger, or in bullying, or a boyfriend or girl friend that are too controlling; there are many, many different scenarios that we can be hit with. So, most of them can be handled by you.
Let’s take rude behavior while you are dating. This is easy, don’t date them anymore. Don’t let them explain away rude behavior more than once. Everyone is allowed one mistake for sure. But if rude behavior becomes the way they treat you, then you don’t need that treatment. How do you tell them? Probably over the phone or in person if you have to and be brave about it. “Hey, I don’t much have tolerance for rudeness.” Than be specific if you need to be, but don’t back down. We all know what rude behavior is. By the way, that means you can’t be rude either, in your relationships!
Let’s kick it up a notch. Let us look at the person who loses their temper. It is one thing to be upset and it is another to become a bully about it. The bully is sending a message by losing their temper that you had better not irritate them this far again, or else! Or else, what? Again, state clearly, that one can certainly disagree with you, but out of control anger, no!
What is out of control anger? Any behavior, temper wise that starts to make you nervous. When people start really raising their voices, swearing, throwing things around, or even grabbing you, that is the time to get pro-active in your defense. First, leave. Second, make it very clear that this behavior is not acceptable. You can be disagreed with, but nicely. People can definitely disagree, but there are some rules of niceness that stay no matter what. We will tackle bullying and anger management in some articles that are coming, but be pro-active towards your own welfare. Be smart!
