No Tweet, No Cheat?

No Tweet, No Cheat?

Posted on , in Section Inspirational

We now have another reason to blame failed marriages on someone—or something—else.

For the last several years, social media has been a factor in many extramarital affairs. Peoplehave been able to connect with almost anyone and have been given a false sense of love and security from someone they don’t even know—or, in some cases, used to know. Such instances have grown increasingly frequent, and just recently, a Michigan woman sued a Kentucky man for almost $9000 for “emotional distress” when he ended their online relationship. The two had never evenmet.

A study done by a doctoral  student, Russell Clayton, at the University of Missouri points out the high rate of infidelity from Facebook affairs but maintains that the rate is worse for Twitter users—he says that couples who are together longer than 3 years can often withstand a Facebook temptation, but not a Twitter one. As reports, Clayton stated, “I found it interesting that active Twitter users experienced Twitter-related conflict and negative relationship outcomes, regardless of length of romantic relationship.”

The Social Media Blame

Clayton’s study is called, “The Third Wheel: The Impact of Twitter Use on Relationship Infidelity and Divorce,” and it studies close to 600 subjects. His idea that Twitter is more dangerous to a relationship than Facebook is (even though Facebook has more users) is slightly confusing, but no more than part of his conclusion that, “Users should cut back to moderate, healthy levels of Twitter use if they are experiencing Twitter or Facebook-related conflict. Some couples share joint social networking site accounts to reduce relationship conflict, and there are some social networking site apps, such as 2Life app, that facilitate interpersonal communication between partners.” So he states the obvious action for dissipating social media conflict—stay away—but then advertises a new social app made for “couples”?

I looked up the 2Life app, and while it looks somewhat interesting, I’m curious as to why one should turn to an app to reign in their social networking flirtation?

And I get it. I’ve been in an unfulfilled relationship before and had some random farmer on a Facebook game start chatting with me and make me feel better than I had in years. Thankfully, I cut off contact with the person not too long afterward. But as adults who know—know about the dangers of letting your guard down on social media, and know well enough to leave a relationship first if it is not working for us—I don’t understand why it is becoming okay to blame the social media as a whole? Not only that, but what has become of our world when we even have studies to back up our very lame excuses: Twitter made me do it?

When you are in an adult relationship, it is my firm opinion that you act like . . . well, an adult. I know it’s not always easy. I have been through a divorce after many years of marriage and then a brief relationship with a person (someone I had known for months) who used Facebook to dump me. Good times. But it only confirms my deepest conviction that a relationship needs a solid start and a continuation of complete honesty, and that means not even testing those blue and white or tweeting waters.