The focus of many teenagers’ lives is their friends. Nowadays, they can talk, text tweet, or Facebook each other about anything they want. Studies show that the actions and behaviors of teens’ can be almost contagious.

The influence that friends have over each other as teenagers has incredible power. Unfortunately, that behavior is usually destructive. Most of the time, when teenagers get together they experiment with drugs and alcohol. Even though it’s easy to put the blame on their peers, studies show that it’s not all about pressure. Teenagers want to emulate their friends. They see it as an outlet to define themselves and branch out from their families. They will start to look towards their friends for guidance and direction. They adopt the same attitudes and behaviors that their friends have.

Finding A Balance

This is where it starts to become tricky. Parents start to see changes in their children and usually assume that it’s a bad thing. Out of love (but perhaps misguidance), parents try to intervene and most of the time it will backfire. As a parent, you naturally want whats for your child. If you see them starting to spend time with a child you determine to be a trouble maker, you want them to stop. But interfering too much will have negative consequences. There is, however, a way to help your teen deflect much of the influence they will start to feel from their friends.

Teenagers require a certain amount of independence, just as adults do. But just because they require this independence doesn’t mean they should have total control, as teenagers aren’t known for their good decision making. Parents need to set boundaries, and impose consequences albeit reasonable ones. Many parents want to slam the hammer of justice when a teen steps out of line, but guiding them to understand why their actions are unacceptable can help them grow immeasurably. “Helping your child develop a sense of identity and feel secure in that identity is probably the best antidote,” says Mitch Prinstein, director of clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill and editor of the Journal of Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology.

The good news is that adolescence and the teen years don’t last forever. Watch for behavioral changes in your child as they find new friends, and maybe most importantly help them find themselves.