Obligatory Sex: You Don't Even Have To Be There Anymore
06September

Obligatory Sex: You Don't Even Have To Be There Anymore

Written by Elaine Wilson, Posted on , in Section Inspirational

“Sexting” has become a word that almost all Americans are familiar with. Both adults and young adults are joining the “sexting” revolution; although “revolution” is a loose term given that many sexters, it seems, are doing it out of nothing but obligation.

While the idea of younger people doing something they don’t want to, for the mere sake of acceptance, is to be expected—sad, but sadly normal—it is a growing trend with adults to give in to what was referred to in a motherboard.com article as “oblisexting.”

Why would anyone feel obligated?

For those who are in stable, loving relationships, the idea of “grown ups” unwillingly sending out suggestive pictures to their significant other seems confusing and even disconcerting. And yet, in a study done on 155 college students, all in committed relationships, 52.3 had sent “oblisexts” at least once, and "most did so for flirtation, foreplay, to fulfill a partner’s needs, or for intimacy” (Half of sexters have unwillingly sexted, motherboard.com).

Acceptance and a sense of duty is obviously the driving force behind the oblisexts, but what about the repercussions of it? Sexting has become a legal issue in many states, mostly a concern for minors. But “slut shaming” and the rapid way such texts can be spread without permission is also very much a problem for the adult sexting world.

Can mobile sex be taken too far?

In another article on The Telegraph, a European website, a story is told of a woman who had “been filmed on a mobile phone, outside the office, performing a sex act on a male colleague. Said man had then shown the video to his fellow employees, during working hours and without her consent. Word spread and the woman was left humiliated” (telegraph.co.uk). Nothing ever happened to the men who willingly shared the video and the woman, feeling only guilt, did nothing to stop it or go after the conspiring men.

For whatever reason, society seems to accept the fact that men will do anything with all aspects of sex, and that women will just shrug their shoulders. In the same article quoted above, a picture of another woman’s cleavage was passed around an office, (she thought she was getting a picture of her face taken) and while she was embarrassed, again nothing was done about the men sharing it; she just said, “I’m glad it didn’t show my face.”

While women should never feel ashamed of sending sexual pictures of themselves to anyone, they should also never feel persuaded into giving one when they are not truly interested in doing so. Sexting is, indeed, a sexual act, and guilting someone into it is just as abhorrent as guilting them into a physical act. Both women and men should treat it as respectfully as any other aspect of sex, even if it is just in fun, and recognize that once the picture is out there—in the digital space that surrounds us all—it is out there forever.