It Takes Empathy To Understand Young Adult Problems
Written by Frank Samuelson, Posted on , in Section Teens & Tweens
We all know families that struggle with their teenage and young adults children due to drugs, alcohol, sexual promiscuity, or criminal activity. And some of us have had to deal with these problems first hand. I can say from experience that my attitude toward "young adult problems" has swung from thinking, "It will never happen to our family," to "My God! This is the hardest thing I could have ever imagined." It took nearly losing my own children to understand the power of empathy.
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Troubled Youth Want to be Understood
Empathic listening has been a powerful tool for my wife and I in dealing with our teenage and young adult children's issues. Coming from a very religious background - all our children were raised with daily family prayer and going to church every week as an essential part of our lives - my wife and I believed we had God on our side, and if we did all we could to please Him, our family would be protected from the ills of this world. I realize now that I was quite naive in my thinking. The reality is that every single person on this earth has challenges, and recognizing that fact has allowed me to view problems, whether in my family or a stranger's, with more empathy.
Now I believe it is my responsibility to share my understanding and teach empathic listening to parents struggling with their children. I believe the turning point in my relationship with my troubled children came when I had exhausted every disciplinary tactic known to man and gave into love. Now I am not suggesting I didn't love my children during their struggles, but I am suggesting that when I approached them from a point where they felt love from me, things changed. Sure there were still problems but we began to heal when my kids knew I loved them and respected their feelings. The biggest difference came when they knew I had heard them on their level. I didn't always agree with them, but I did understand them on a deeper level than ever before. It was at that time that we were able to begin healing. And it was at that time my children agreed to get help.
