Do Mothers Harm Their Children With Outside Care?
Written by James Demo, Posted on , in Section Therapy News
Parenting is a difficult journey. There are decisions to be made every day, in schooling and other life learning. The highs, the lows, the endless care and concern for someone greater than yourself—all these take a toll on us, as parents, sometimes. All of this is difficult enough without another parent coming and telling you how you are doing it all wrong.
In an article on a website that helps troubled teens called Welcome to the Culture Where Both Parents Work: Do Children Suffer?, the author ruminates:
“It seems hard to believe that it still happens in 2014, with women everywhere crusading for understanding and acceptance when it comes to different parenting practices—breastfeeding, formula feeding, home or hospital birth, home or public schooling, being a stay-at-home or working mother. So many of us are clamoring that we all need to accept that each thing works differently for each mother and that one isn’t always better than the other.”
The Parental War
What has been often termed as the “Mommy Wars” is still on. Parents—and more often, mothers—everywhere are maintaining their right to judge another one—to tell them that they’re doing it badly, how their child would never . . . there is so much that someone can judge us on, especially when it comes to children. And I get it, it takes a village. But more often than not, that village should be the “support”—for the parents. Letting them know that everyone slips up now and then, every good parent tries their best and vows to try even harder tomorrow. Not the village that will run after a parent with torch lights because they decided not to put their child in preschool, or—heaven forbid—put their child in daycare. This, just recently, was a huge Mommy War for me as I was informed of my neglect (as a parent) for doing this very thing.
As parents, we need to help—not hinder the cause. There are those children who sometimes just can’t seem to find their way, troubled teens who have forgotten how special they are. It’s our job—as the village—to remind them. Not to distract the parents and make them defensive rather than being able to help their sweet child.
