Do As I Say Not as I Do The Importance of Being a Good Example for Troubled Teens
22August

Do As I Say Not as I Do The Importance of Being a Good Example for Troubled Teens

Written by Craig Rogers, Posted on , in Section Teens & Tweens

There is nothing more confusing for a troubled teen than to see a parent do something that they have been told, by that parent, to be wrong.  This becomes even more important in the wake of the legalizing of marijuana in some states.

There are many families who find it perfectly acceptable to have a glass of wine or a cold beer at the dinner table, or enjoy a cigarette while reading a good book or while driving.  Unfortunately, these same families trying to be ‘good parents’ turn around and tell their children that they shouldn’t drink or smoke.  That it is bad for them, and punish them for engaging in these very same activities that they themselves engage in.  Changing “do as I say, not as I do”, into “Do as I do” is a challenge, but the importance of being a good example to your troubled teens cannot be stressed enough.  There are too many parents of struggling teens who fail to look at themselves first to see if there is something that they can do, some change they can make in their own habits that might have an effect on their children.

Do as I do.  Everything you do is observed and scrutinized by your children.  Keep that thought in your mind at all times.  Too many parents get caught in the trap of “I am the parent, you are my child, and you will do as I tell you.”  While not wrong in essence, it can send a conflicting and ultimately damaging signal when you punish a teen for doing something they have witnessed you doing.

The Importance of Being a Good Example Becomes Even More Profound as Laws and Attitudes Change

With Marijuana now legal in some states, it is going to come to light that some families who once hid their pot smoking from their kids simply on the basis that it was illegal, might begin to smoke it as if it was nothing more than a run of the mill cigarette.  As laws change the way we are forced to look at things we might consider negative, the importance of setting the example of what you want your teen to emulate becomes even more essential.