5 Simple Lessons For Troubled Boys From Some People Who Know A Thing or Two
Written by Frank Samuelson, Posted on , in Section Teens & Tweens
Adolescence is a tough time. There's really no way around that. It's only the tiniest minority of boys that squeak through without having to deal with a few pretty serious problems and a million smaller ones. For some boys, the teenage years are like a riptide, swallowing up the future before it's even had a chance to begin.
The issues that cause serious trouble for adolescent boys could fill a thousand phonebooks. Each boy is different, and yet, we hear the same stories over and over again.
This is by no means a definitive program that will guarantee to help turn a young man's life around, but if you incorporate these changes into your life, you'll be off to a good start. Some of history's greatest figures faced similar problems as those that many of today's youth are facing now. Here's how they helped get themselves on the path to success.
5 Idiot-Proof Techniques for Self-Improvement
1. Get up early. There's nothing most young men hate more than getting up at 4:30 or, if you're feeling lazy, 5:30 AM. but from Mozart to Frank Lloyd Right, from Warren Buffett to Ernest Hemingway to Benjamin Franklin, they all had at least one thing in common. They all understand that in order to be effective, you have to get up before everybody else. There's a lot of work to be done, so what are you waiting for? Get started before everybody else. There's been studies that show that early risers are more conscientious, a key character trait in predicting future success -- in addition to being happier. Some theologians argue that Jesus may have blazed the trail for early risers when he was ressurected early in the morning.
2. Pick a hobby you love and do it like it's a second job. It's true what they say, about idle hands being the devil's playground. But more than that, a young man needs to have some passion in his life in order to put everything into perspective. Franz Kafka kept his day job. Sure, he complained about it, but working in his personal time forced him to make the best use of his time, and all day long, he was excited to get to work. Young men have a job, that's being in school. In addition to that, sometimes they have an actual job. Time is precious. We only come to understand that as we get older. Young men can start learning that lesson earlier in order to get a leg up on their peers.
3. Get up, go outside and start walking. The simple, restorative power of a walk is not to be underestimated. Getting a bit of fresh air, getting the blood flowing. These are simple, powerful techniques we can use to help ourselves make better decisions. Creative people, especially musicians (a few whom you may have heard of, like Beethoven and Tchaikovsky, for instance), have often espoused the virtues of clearing one's head by taking a walk. Very few important decisions need to be made in a split-second. Take some time. Breathe in some air. Get the heart pumping and have a good long think about something. You'll find that young men, and pretty much anyone, will benefit from this simple idea.
4. Get a routine and stick to it. We are creatures of habit. There's no point waffling about this, because all that really needs to be said is that when you don't have to make a lot of unimportant decisions, you have time to really make the decisions that you do have to make that much more effective. By having a routine, you know how to budget your time. You know where you're supposed to be. You know what you can or can't promise to others. You know whether you got done what you were supposed to get done that day because you know what each day is supposed to feel like. Again, we come back to the idea that idle hands are the devil's playground. Give your hands something to do, and do it every day. From Le Corbusier to William James and Immanuel Kant. Some of history's great thinkers knew the benefits of a fully scheduled day.
5. Be flexible. The life of a young man can be chaotic. Between school, family, work and some semblance of a social life, a lot of young men don't know where they're going to be from one second to the next. And you might think that this rule goes against some of the other rules we've established. Well, it doesn't. It reinforces them and makes them stronger. Because this rule is about not giving yourself any excuses. These rules are simple to live by for any young man who can incorporate them into his own internalized values. You can't control everything and you should never try to. Just like we were talking about how the teen years can be a time that feels like a riptide, sometimes you simply will be carried away. Knowing how to escape a riptide is essential. You have to swim, not against the current, but with the current, along the shore until you've gotten away from it. Otherwise you risk drowning. Knowing when you are in a situation that you can't control is crucial. Don't waste your effort. There are times when you must accept that you can only do the best that you can do. But again, this is not an excuse. This means apply yourself to the best of your ability in every situation that you find yourself in.
To many young men are at risk of drowning in a sea of possibilities. There is a crisis in this country that is causing teen boys to make poor choices. By incorporating these simple ideas into his life, your son can become more effective, more reliable and better prepared for future success.
