1. Always Bring Your Phone to School
You never know when you're going to need a helping hand, or pizza. Or to call for flowers to be sent to the principal's wife.
2. Run For Class President
It's important to ensure that your fellow students will have access to soda machines and anything else they want, to ensure your win against your opponent.
3. You Can Use School Supplies to Make Money
When you have a "secret family recipie" and a dream car you can't afford, manufacturing spaghetti sauce in the chemistry lab is always a good option.
4. Good Hair is Hair That Doesn't Move
Gel? Mouse? Spray? All three: And you've got hair that will follow you through whatever trouble you have planned for the day.
5. You Should Dance Your Cares Away
Stressed? Behind on homework? Nothin a little dancing in your underwear with your best friends can't cure.
6. Always Be the Most Fashionably Dressed
Having a distinct sense of style helps for success in the Glee Club when you can't actually sing.
7. Combine Feminism and Cheerleading
Introduce ankle-lenght skirts and rewrite the cheers to reflect your inner self. Every football player will appreciate it.
8. It's Okay If You Spend More Time in the Principal's Office Than He Does
There's nothing wrong with being there first—that way you can straighten his desk or rig his office to simulate frequent earthquakes.
9. Don't Forget Your Buddy Bands
Because sometimes frienship bracelets and love cuffs just don't cut it. Make sure the principal gets one.
10. Kissing Is Nice
Especially when it's with the girl of your dreams.
11. Pump Iron In Between Classes
You never know when you're going to have to toilet paper the opposing high school, or steal their mascot.
12. Playing House is Good
Especially if you can arrange to be "Husband #1" with your blatant crush.
13. Be Preppie
You can never be too properly dressed for a dance competition at The Max.
14. It's Okay to be a Blonde Tom Cruise
Even if you have to use sublliminal messaging through a popular song to get everyone to realize that.
15. Marry Your Highschool Sweetheart
It might take several years and sabatoging her other relationships, but in the end, she will know that you both are meant to be.