Do you feel like your life is going nowhere? Are you looking for some way to mix things up and get back on the right track? Maybe you should consider going to prison. Here's 10 reasons you would be a happier person if you were locked up.
1 - Get free work done on your tattoos - Getting tattoos is expensive and nobody wants to walk around with half finished work. While you're locked up, the odds are your cellmate will be able to help you out for free.
2 - Free healthcare - If you get attacked on the street, it's up to you to pay for a doctor. In prison, this won't even be a concern. You'll get stitched up after all your beatings free of charge.
3 - Overcome your claustrophobia - Prison cells aren't the most spacious, but at least you'll finally have to come to terms with your claustrophobia. Once you've been inside for a couple years, that closet you didn't like going into is gonna seem big enough to live in.
4 - Companionship - Are you lonely? Do you feel isolated? Well that's gonna change pretty fast once you get into prison (whether you like it our not).
5 - Close contact with wildlife - Prison cells are notorious for having different wildlife you'll be able to observe. Before long, you'll be an expert on cockroaches, rats, ants, and a number of other pests.
6 - Get back in shape - You have to spend time in the yard anyway, might as well bulk up. You're sure to be happier once you get ripped. Plus, this will probably keep the gangs off your back.
7 - You get to use cigarettes as currency - Try going to any of your local stores and using smokes instead of cash. It isn't gonna work out very well. But that's the kind of convenience you're gonna enjoy while being locked up.
8 - Free meals - Are you getting tired of constantly paying high prices for every meal? The second you go to prison you can count on 3 hot meals a day, all prepared by your fellow inmates. They may not know what they're doing, but with practice they'll probably get really good.
9 - Arts and crafts - Everybody likes having projects to work on. Get out all your creative energy working on custom license plates in the yard.
10 - Enjoy your holidays without relatives - Once you been in jail for a few years, your annoying family members will probably stop visiting. You'll be able to really enjoy holidays without having to worry about entertaining.